| "You Done Me Wrong" Email |
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If I had any talent in Country Western singing, I would pen a song with the title above. I would be able to wail in the chorus, "Babe--eee, you sent me the email but you done me Solitaire."
My source of inspiration for this #1 hit would be the email, accompanied by the voice mail, that I received today. First, here's the back story. I stayed at an upscale hotel with the purpose of checking it out for a possible SalesPEAK conference location. It was a beautiful place, recently built, with a reputation for quality and a unique flair. While there, of course I had the hotel tour, tried out their restaurant and in short, had a fabulous experience. The salesperson at the hotel apparently left her job. We have not made a final decision in our office as to where the conference will take place. But today, I received a phone call. It was made using a SPEAKER PHONE. So sorry to have "yelled" at you in this newsletter, but as you know already, using a SPEAKER while calling a customer is totally rude, disrespectful, inappropriate, and signals that YOU, the CUSTOMER as just not as important as the salesperson who is calling. Yep, her hands were all tied up and she couldn't hold the receiver or bother to insert her headset. I suppose it was just too much trouble. Later, I returned to my office. She had sent me an email. Here it is below, excluding the hotel name: Subject: New Contact Info (Who IS this, I thought? Why do I care?) We have had a proposal on the books for your Salespeak Anniversary event and wanted to let you know that this booking is going to be released on Friday of this week unless you want to move forward with a contract. Please let me know the status of this booking so we do not release if still needed. I look forward to speaking with you soon!" Now, let's take a look at this email and what actually inspired me to write my new Country and Western song about the email. At first blush, it's not horrible. She at least used spell check and used correct grammar. On the other hand, let's see what did, indeed, go wrong: 1. She claims she's excited to be our new contact, however, in the next sentence, she scolds us for their having the inconvenience of holding the dates. 2. In the second paragraph, not only does she mis-spell our company name, she includes a threat. How about an opportunity for a conversation before she threatens to release the date? 3. She looks forward to "speaking with me soon". Where is the action item? Will she call, or do I have to take the initiative? Who's doing all the work, here? To come full circle with my new release, let's see what she could have done as an alternative: 1. Subject: "XYZ Hotel Follow Up" (At least I know who that is and what the message is concerning.) 2. "Thank you for staying at our wonderful hotel", or something of that nature. (Thank the customer--it's always in good form. No one objects to a common courtesy with a "thank you".) 3. Transition statement. "Kristi recently left and I am now handling all of the meeting bookings here." (NOW I know who she is and why she is emailing me instead of Kristi.) 4. "In looking at the calendar, I see that we've been holding the week of X for your company. Since the dates are getting close in our business, we should take a few minutes to discuss the meeting." (Sounds polite and sincere to me.) 5. "When is the best time to reach you in the next few days to discuss your conference?" (End with an action item and a question that requires a response.) So now that you have an example of how to better dissect and write your emails, instead of "goin' wrong", try out these techniques by re-reading your emails before sending them out. You may find that the customer will get back with you instead of tossing the email into a "delete" file without responding. Get a copy of my new book, "The NAKED Salesperson" by sending me your re-written email "gone wrong" and the best re-written entry will win the book. Deadline for submission is January 20th, 2010. |
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